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| I come home every night, have a nervous breakdown, and accomplish nothing. I can't take it anymore. I'm at my wits end and I don't know what to do. I know we're all a bit jumpy... I just feel even more jumpy due to my freakish work schedule, and all the pressure around me that I can't take. I wish I could be as good as all of you are about... everything. Dealing with everything. But I can't. I am a failure.
I have a headache.
If it doesn't snow to the maximum tomorrow, I don't think I will be able to continue. All I want is a week to myself to make things better. Does anyone else feel like they're slowly digging their own grave?
I need a new journal. A real one. | | |
| No one comments on this anymore and its so sad. I miss when I could get 6 legit comments. I miss you guys :(
My life is so uneventful. All I do is homework. Literally spent the ENTIRE day on homework. Didn't even accomplish everything I had to get done tonight. Just the basics minus stats (at least I understand what's going on so far...)
This week, like the past few, is going to be hell. Utter hell. Its weird but I had so much less work for the first two marking periods. Its weird but think about it. We're in 12th grade. When you think back to when you were, idk, in middle school, do you remember thinking "Wow the stuff we'll learn in 12th grade is about as hard as it gets, man! Its the ultimate!" I guess there's some truth in that... it isn't easy, I'll give it that much.
I don't feel sad that its February. I want this unfun stuff to be over. I'm sick of working as hard as I do, being as miserable as I am. I want to go to Boston to see Marina. I want to spend time with Josh. I just want to watch television without feeling guilty. My family is so worried about me. My dad and Grandma both think I'm more stressed now than ever before and they're "really concerned". Me too. Maybe I'm just more blunt about it now. Maybe my tolerance for stress has gone down. I don't know. I just know this isn't working and I can only take so much more of this.
I think I should go to sleep. I'm tired but not that tired. For some reason I have H.Duff stuck in my head. Can't explain it. This song reminds me of something I can't name or put my finger on. Its something good, though. Something innocent.
I really want to get a new Diary. When would I have time to write, though? :( | | |
| (don't judge me)
You can change your life
You can change your clothes
If you change your mind
Well, that's the way it goes
But I'm gonna keep your jeans
And your old black hat
They look good on me
You're never gonna get them back
At least not today, not today, not today
'cause
If it's over, let it go and
Come tomorrow it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
I'm just a bird that's already flown away
Laugh it off let it go and
When you wake up it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay
You can say you're bored
You can act real tough
You can say you're torn
But I've heard enough
Thank you... you made my mind up for me
When you started to ignore me
Do you see a single tear
It isn't gonna happen here
At least not today, not today, not today
'cause
If it's over, let it go and
Come tomorrow it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
I'm just a bird that's already flown away
Laugh it off let it go and
When you wake up it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay? | | |
| Just when you think some guys might not fit into the "all guy suck" mold, they go and suck. | | |
| I am so excited for next year. I've been looking for a roommate all afternoon and omfg. I'm just so excited. The people are so interesting and..so much like me. I am so excited :)
In other news, i hate life and want to die a little. I cried so many times in the bathroom today. It honestly was just a lot of things compounded into one ball of negativity today. Idk. I hate crying in school. I hope it snows SOSOSO much we just never have school again. | | |
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